Welcome to Texas, where brisket is sacred, cattle are legendary, and state lawmakers have identified the gravest threat to civilization: watermelon-flavored hemp gummies. The legislature moved faster against peach rings than it ever has for failing schools or collapsing hospitals, treating candy-coated CBD like a national emergency. This is how politics works in 2025. A resident can legally stockpile enough firearms to outfit a small militia, but sell a hemp chew in a bag wit